my top 8 fave TV series

1. Brothers and Sisters

So close to reality. I think this is a one smart storyline. Interesting plot and deep scenario played by amazing actors.

2. Entourage

Absolutely guys stuff contains a lot of guy things and fresh jokes. Portrayed a really great friendship.

3. Private Practice

Fresh, unique and interesting.


4. Heroes

Brings high curiosity. Unpredictable story and mysterious conflicts.


5. Friday Night Lights

Drama based on high school football players. One thing that worth to watch.


6. Dirty Sexy Money

Naughty, funny and full of intrigue at the same time

7. How I Met Your Mother

One word : entertaining!

8. nip/tuck

Fun to watch although kinda gross in some scenes

Second

Wow...this blog has been gone through quite a hiatus...well, here I am again..
Lately, my life has been good...just had a really good holiday after spending a lot of time for working,working and working again haha cliche isn't it?

I just realized how lucky I am heheh I'm lucky to have a life that I could mend, I could control and I could build. Okay now the question is what so special about that? I've made several mistakes and bad choices in my past. Those bad experiences left me with awareness and awakening. Alhough it left me with some bad memories and some guilty feelings too. But I'm grateful to have a chance to patch things up. Everybody deserves a second chance and that's what I'm feeling so lucky about.

Speaking about "second"..there all lots of second things that people love. Let's say second hand car, second hand cell phone, second hand designer's bags, second hand fancy wrist watches and the list would go on and on...u name it..
Some people also go for second opinion after they feel not satisfied enough by their first doctor who gave them opinions...

The thing is not about allowing ourselves to take everything for granted. We got to be grateful about what we have. We also got to cherish all the moment that pass us by..remember time is one natural resource that can't be repeated. Furthermore, we're only men..ordinary men..we're not supermen or ultramen..we don't have powers to be perfect all the time. We make mistakes, we stumble and fall.

But God has given us such a wonderful grace called second chance..this second-chance-thought lately really captured myself into some kind of thought..I may have screwed and messed around but I realized I was wrong and the bottom line is I want to patch things up. I want to be a better person. Just cut yourself some slack, get up and try again.. Don't forget to give others a second chance as well especially to people that upset you

guilty pleasure

my very own top list guilty pleasure :
1. makan martabak keju dan indomi sebelom tidur
2. dengerin lagu-lagu boy band
3. infotainment
4. nonton sinetron
5. melanggar lampu merah
6. tidur ga sikat gigi saking udah terlalu ngantuk
7. makan sop kambing plus sate kambing
8. dengerin lagunya kuburan, kangen band dan st 12
9. nyanyi kayak org gila sendirian sambil nyetir
10.joget di kamar sendirian sambil bergaya ala rock star

King Of Pop

Masi fresh bgt di kepala gue waktu gue masi SD, tiap naek mobil bokap...yg diputer di tape mobilnya bokap itu adalah kaset Michael Jackson yg album History...

Sebagai anak SD, gue agak bingung dengerin lagu Michael Jackson saat itu hahaha ntah bingung ato gue yg emang masi bego saat itu...abis yg g pikir waktu itu kok musiknya rame bgt yah...paling cuma 1 ato 2 lagu yg g denger agak kalem,ditambah lengkingan suara MJ yg khas...jd bikin gue tambah bingung

Setelah gue tambah gede, minat gue terhadap musik MJ jadi makin nambah juga...tapi sayang sekali kaset album History tersebut uda kusut. Maklum masi kaset jadi yah pitanya uda ga layak lg buat diputer di tape...yg ad malah nyangkut n pas dikeluarin bentuknya ud kayak ga jelas bgt...

MJ emang salah satu musisi paling sukses sekaligus kontroversial. But I can't ignore that he's talented. Nice music, nice lyrics, and incredible sales record. Kalo ada beberapa orang mengatakan dia salah jalan dalam menjalani hidupnya...well, that's people's opinion...everyone is free to say anything on their mind although it's not accurately correct..

Lepas dari salah atau tidaknya seorang Michael Jackson...dia tetep uda bisa kasi impact buat sekitarnya. Buktinya sekarang dia lbh dikenang atas hasil karyanya daripada kontroversi kehidupan pribadinya. Apa yg terjadi dalam setiap kehidupan pribadi seseorang itu murni adalah hak hidupnya untuk menentukan apa yang hendak dia jalani. Sekalipun salah...I guess it's not our place to judge and condemn...everyone makes mistakes...bedanya ada kesalahan yg diketahui org lain dan ada kesalahan yg cuma si pelakunya aja yg tau.

Anyway here are some of my fave Michael Jackson's song :
1. Heal the World
2. Childhood
3. I'll Be There
4. Black or White
5. Thriller
6. Billie Jean
7. Man in the Mirror
8. Scream
9. Smooth Criminal
10.Stranger in Moscow
11.You're Not Alone
12.Will You Be There
13.We Are the World
14.Beat It
15.Earth Song
16.Remember The Time

Ikhlas

mmmm jadwal gue dalam beberapa hari ke depan adalah training. Ini udah hari kedua gue ikut training. Dan ternyata hari ini jadwal training molor ampe setengah hari. Karena 1 dan lain hal, trainer baru bisa dateng jam 1 siang sedangkan jadwal mengatakan seharusnya training sudah dimulai dari jam 8.30 pagi. Hhhmmmm gue uda bangun pagi bener trus ngebut supaya ga kena macet dan sekarang berakhir dengan menunggu......

Ternyata yang dibilang orang-orang jaman dulu bener juga yah... dulu gue sering denger kalimat 'orang kalo udah tambah tua bakal tambah sabar' hehehe gue berasa udah tambah tua sh hahaha moga-moga aj gue jg tambah sabar :D peace...

Yang paling gue rasain sh setelah gue pikir-pikir dari segala pengalaman yg gue alamin baik pahit ato manis....kunci buat bisa enak jalanin hidup itu mesti ikhlas. Kalo kita ikhlas otomatis kita jadi sabar saat banyak tantangan dan ujian dateng. Dengan ikhlas juga kita jadi bisa lebih berlapang dada dalam menerima fakta dan kenyataan pahit yg ga sesuai ama rencana maupun harapan kita.

Ikhlaskan saja jika kita harus menghadapi situasi sulit yg ga kita sukai...all bad things come to an end

Ikhlaskan saja kalo barang yg uda lama lu incer di toko ternyata stock nya uda abis ato uda keduluan dibeli orang.....ntar jg ada keluaran baru yg lbh bagus

Ikhlaskan saja kalo org yg lu sayang ga bs bersatu ama lu....the best is yet to come :D

Ikhlaskan saja kalo apa yg kita punya ga sebanyak org laen...segala sesuatu kalo terlalu banyak jg cape ngitung n ngurusinnya

Ikhlaskan saja kalo ternyata sulit sekali buat tidur 8 jam sehari krn banyak kerjaan...kan bisa curi-curi tidur saat makan siang hahaha yanh lumyan kan curi tidur 10 mnt drpd ga sama sekali

Ikhlaskan saja kalo org laen ngomongin hal-hal miring tentang kita...yg tau yg bener itu cuma Tuhan, org berspekulasi tentang kita krn mereka perduli ama kita...

paradox

Damn I’ve left this blog for quite a time…akhir-akhir ini gila bgt kerjaan. Seems like I’m forced to be a workaholic…crap! But thank God I’m back

Mmm mesti mulai dr mana yah??? 1 word that describe my situation and condition lately : COMPLICATED. Everything seems so complicated. I could hardly have time to do things that I like. I could hardly get enough sleep. I don’t even feel powerful enough to go to the gym for some exercises. Yup yup rite , no pain no gain. It’s ok I could cherish my pain anyway hahaha

Let’s start from this…
Life is like a series of unpredictable events…u can’t even guess what’s next or what’s the ending. All we can know and all we can do is just making a list of plan. But plan is just a plan..like my office mate said. Banyak hal yg jika direncanakan justru malah tidak akan terealisasi. Kata kunci yg temen kantor gue bilang adalah ILHAM….
Waktu dia ngomong kata itu, gue serasa kayak nemu sesuatu. Emang betul bgt dlm idup itu kita butuh banyak bgt ilham. Gue ga cek apa arti kata ilham secara harafiah. Tapi dari sudut pandang gue…ilham itu adalah sebuah kesadaran yg membuat seseorang bangun dan bergerak. Contoh : ada cowo dan cewe sahabatan uda lama bgt. Smuanya berjalan biasa-biasa aja. Ampe suatu hari salah satu dr mereka dpt ilham bahwa ‘the one’ yg selama ini dia cari sebetulnya adalah sahabatnya sendiri. Sahabatnya sendiri adalah sosok yg paling dia sayang…tanpa dia sadari selama jangka waktu yg cukup panjang….(rada telat sadar sh tepatnya…)

Contoh laen : ada orang yg uda lama banget kerja jd banker…tiba-tiba suatu hari dia sadar bahwa yg jd passion dan keinginan dia selama ini adalah menjadi fotografer….

See?! It’s like a series of unpredictable events ,right?! Maka itu ga heran banyak bgt orang yg kerja ga sesuai ama background pendidikan mereka. Berapa banyak dokter gigi yg banting setir jd pedagang? Ato lulusan teknik industri yang malah jadi penulis buku??? U never know…

Beberapa sahabat yg uda mengenal gue sangat baik mengatakan kalo gue terlalu serius dlm menjalani idup. Nih kata-kata yg selalu mereka lontarkan ke gue :
Don’t beat yourself too hard ,man….

Come on…be chilled for a while….

Udah idup udah susah jgn dibuat tambah susah

Jangan banyak dipikirin yah…

Go out and have some fun, bro….

Udah lah segitu aj kalo diterusin kepanjangan list nya :D…..well,thanks guys for reminding me to balance my mind. Sebetulnya gue ngerasa gue cukup waras dlm menjalani hidup…gue tetep punya fun and private time meskipun gue lg sibuk bgt…bahkan sepusing apapun gue selalu bisa tidur nyenyak…thank Good Lord….
Sebetulnya unpredictable events yg gue hadapin akhir-akhir ini membawa gue pada sejumlah pertanyaan-pertanyaan yg gue sendiri ga bisa jawab dan beberapa pertanyaan tersebut sempet gue bahas dan gue tanya ke beberapa orang terdekat gue tapi tetep….ga menjawab semua rasa ingin tahu gue….

Life is like learning on the spot….sebetulnya dr banyaknya buku motivasi dan pengembangan diri serta ceramah maupun khotbah mengenai nilai-nilai kehidupan, kita ibarat sedang dipersiapkan dengan segudang tips dan wejangan mengenai bagaimana berhadapan dengan berbagai situasi sulit. Tetapi yg gue temui, pada saat gue berhadapan dengan berbagai situasi sulit tersebut, seems like all those tips become unrelevant….yang ada gue mesti puter otak dan cool myself down in order to keep carrying on… that’s what I called learning on the spot…

Waktu jaman sekolah dulu yah let’s say jaman cupu n lugu dulu meskipun g ga lugu-lugu amat sh hahaha smuanya terlihat serba pasti….masuk sekolah jam 7 lalu jam 3 sore ud kelar. Abis itu les ato ambil ekstrakurikuler…kalo emang di hari yg bersangkutan ga ad les dan ekskul yah itu berarti waktunya pulang ato maen ama temen-temen. Smua uda pasti. Abis pelajaran kimia lalu sejarah abis itu sosiologi trus istirahat…semuanya pasti sepasti hitam dan putih….

Sekarang hidup ga lagi selalu hitam atau putih…Banyak pilihan bijak yg harus kita tentukan untuk kita jalanin. Situasi yg kita hadapi pun uda ga lagi sepasti dulu. Of course…life goes on, u’re not gonna stuck at the same point, buddy. Banyak situasi abu-abu. Gray zone….gray zone….

Agama dan kepercayaan selalu berusaha mengarahkan manusia agar ga terjebak dlm zona abu-abu. Which is good. Tetapi punya agama dan kepercayaan bukan berarti meluputkan dan menghindarkan kita dr berbagai situasi abu-abu. I’m not trying to be a smart-ass right here….

Contoh situasi abu-abu yg gue sulit terima dengan akal sehat gue….
Napa org beda agama sulit bgt buat married? Ga ad yg bisa larang org buat suka dan sayang ama siapa pun kan?! Then why it has to be that complicated??? They just wanna live happily with the person that they love…belom tentu juga kalo menikah ama org yg seagama kehidupan pernikahannya jaminan mutu bakal bahagia dan langgeng selamanya….

Well no offense…that’s just my single point of view…I don’t mean to hurt or offend anyone in this case

If there is limit in this life then how far is the limit??? U do the answer………

heart over brain

Gue selalu meng-claim kalo gue adalah orang yg logis. Gue selalu berpikir dan mengukur hampir smua hal dr segi logika. Sampai seolah-olah gue mengabaikan kalo pada dasarnya gue adalah orang dengan perasaaan yg cukup sensitif.

Tingkat sensitivitas gue terhadap kebutuhan dan perasaan orang lain cukup tinggi. Gue suka memperhatikan orang lain dengan membelikan barang kesukaan orang tersebut meskipun bukan di hari ulang tahun ataupun hari-hari special. Selain itu gue juga suka perduli ama sahabat atau keluarga gue yg sedang sakit. Biasanya kalo ada org deket gue yg sakit, gue dgn rela mo repot buat beliin obat, nganterin makanan, nemenin ke dokter, ngecekin jam minum obat ato sekedar nanya “udah enakan blm?”

Biasa kalo ada temen gue yg lg bermasalah ato let’s say patah hati…gue jg suka doing something just to make them happy and make them forget all those pains….
Agak kontradiktif dg cara gue berpikir dan memperlakukan diri gue sendiri. Kalo gue yg sakit ,gue malah agak sebel kalo orang-orang repot ngurusin gue yg sakit hahaha karena gue suka mikir gue sakit gara-gara teledor aja…(baca: kurang bisa menjaga kesehatan diri sendiri). Tapi ga bisa dielakkan kalo gue sgt senang dg segala bentuk perhatian dan keperdulian. People need love and affection anyway, right?!

Yes I do , I do love affection. Lesson learned yg gue dpt akhir-akhir ini adalah gue harus bisa jujur sama perasaan gue sendiri. Coba menyeimbangkan anatara isi kepala dan perasaan gue sendiri. Somehow…gue ngerasa gue kayak orang lumpuh karena kebanyakan pake otak. Sekarang gue belajar untuk juga pake hati…

Gue pernah bilang sama sahabat gue ,” I hate to have feeling coz it just leads us to some pain…” punya perasaan ama orang dalam bentuk dan wujud apapun membuat kita menjadi rentan sama yg namanya kekecewaan dan sakit hati.
Apa gue takut sakit hati?? The answer is YES!!! (akhirnya gue bs jujur ama perasaan gue sendiri…I guess it’s one big step for me)

Why there should be a ‘goodbye’ after a ‘hello’? gue benci perpisahan. Gue ga suka sama perasaan kehilangan. Gue ga suka sama perasaan harus melepaskan orang yg gue sayang. Gue benci kalo orang yg gue sayang ga bisa end up together with me. Ada 1 kalimat yg gue benci bgt “Cinta tak harus memiliki” damn, fuck that quote….
Tapi otak gue sadar bgt bahwa untuk bisa menjadi dewasa dan bijaksana gue harus bisa menghidupi quote tersebut. Banyak hal dalam kehidupan yg ga bisa gue miliki. Sesuatu yg bukan milik gue berarti harus gue relakan untuk pergi. I know that. Been there done that…several times. Being numb is not my option…sebetulnya pengen membunuh semua perasaaan yg masih bisa timbul again and again. Tapi semua itu Cuma akan membuat gue jadi manusia yg makin tumpul dan mati rasa. So ,right now…gue buka kembali perasaan gue…gue kembali berani kehilangan dan sakit hati

Quarter Life Crisis

This afternoon, after church hour, I had lunch with 2 of my best friends. Suddenly, our conversation circulates around crisis. This not the kind of world crisis such as poverty, swine flu or the global financial crisis. It’s about life crisis... quarter life crisis. Sounds familiar? Or you’re one of those who are dealing with it now?

Three of us, me and my 2 friends are almost 25. And all of us are kinda questioning about all the uncertainty that surrounding our life.

First situation
My friend number 1. She is a girl with big talent and passion in graphic design, product design and fashion design. But she is confused. Her fiance currently is living in the US. They have plans for married and starting a life as a newlyweds...abroad. But seems like the global financial crisis has taken it’s effect and it caused her fiance not easily to find a job. My friend has a lot of talent inside of her but still considering what kind of job that suits her.

Second situation
My friend number 2. She is a vibrant and vivacious girl. Actually she is the youngest around the three of us. Just broke up from the-not-really-supportive relationship....if I could say so. Still wondering what’s next for her life. Still thinking about all the upcoming events. Talented, attractive and looking around for opportunity to breakthrough.

Third situation
It’s me. Yeah it’s me, myself and I. Mmmm where should I start?......I just got into a panel interview 2 days backward. Well, I kinda suspicious about what’s gonna happened next after the result informed. But I do wish that I could receive some kind of good news from the panel result.

I found a key word. The key word is ‘search’. Yes ‘search’. We all are still searching for what suits us and searching for certainty. Life is a rollercoaster lately. When you’re on the peak, you prepare yourself to slide down and scream. When you’re on the bottom, you’re crawling up until you reach the peakest point.

Lucky me, although I’m still searching for what I am unless I’m surrounded by people that truly care about me. When you get lost in a place that you’ve never been before it will creeps you out even more when you don’t have someone that you could trust beside you. But when someone that you could trust is right beside you and together you’re trying to find a way out...I guess what we should worried about? Nothing I guess.
Together we could find a way out. Together we could patch things up. Together we could crawl up to the top.

Lord know dreams are hard to follow but don’t let anyone take them away. Hold on there will be tomorrow. In time, you’ll find a way.....(Hero by Mariah Carey)

Lesson learned

Perduli kepada orang lain sepertinya mengandung resiko. Yah kita sebagai manusia memang tidak bisa mengelak bahwa banyak resiko yang harus kita hadapi dalam segala apapun yang kita lakukan.

Makan mengandung resiko gemuk, kolesterol, dan tersedak.
Tidur mengandung resiko mimpi buruk.
Ganteng beresiko dikejar-kejar oleh banyak peminat hahaha peace yo
Kaya beresiko dirampok
Pacaran beresiko bertengkar atau putus
Melajang beresiko dicap tidak laku dan tidak menarik

Well, the list will getting longer. You can name it yourself what other risks that may follow your strengths and weaknesses.

Apa benar bahwa manusia memang diciptakan buat jadi makhluk yang sangat ahli untuk bertahan hidup? Kalau bicara mengenai bertahan hidup berarti membahas mengenai perjuangan manusia sebagai individu. Pada dasarnya manusia diciptakan untuk bersosialisasi dan berpasangan.

Segalanya akan sangat indah jikalau manusia tidak pernah menghadapi yang namanya konflik dan persaingan dalam lingkungan sosialnya. Lingkungan sosial itu sendiri memiliki banyak level. Ada sosialisasi untuk tujuan profesional ada sosialisasi untuk kesenangan semata. But, pada intinya manusia bersosialisasi untuk memenuhi kebutuhannya untuk memperhatikan dan diperhatikan.

Feels really good when you have someone who cares and you care about. Tapi tidak menutup kemungkinan bahwa konflik bisa hadir ditengah-tengah dalam sebuah sosialisasi. And now conflict happened. Selanjutnya bukankah untuk kita bisa terus move on yang dibutuhkan adalah kemampuan bertahan hidup? Kita harus bisa bertahan dan melanjutkan hidup kita yang sudah tersakiti. Selain itu kita juga harus memiliki kapasitas untuk dapat berekonsiliasi dengan keadaan dan dengan individu bersangkutan yang berkonflik dengan kita. Karena kalau kita tidak mengijinkan diri kita sendiri untuk berdamai dengan sekitar lalu siapa yang akan dapat membuat keadaan menjadi lebih baik. Kita adalah manusia dengan inisiatif dan kehendak. Berarti tidak suka dipaksa dan dikendalikan di bawah tekanan. So, open up your heart and let your heart healed.

Yup I know it feels suck when we are in a conflict with someone. Especially when someone that hurts us is someone that we truly care about. Ignored or treated as if that we don’t exist by our dear one is suck.

Tetapi jikalau hal tersebut sudah terjadi yang dapat kita lakukan hanyalah bertahan dengan segala keadaan tersebut. Berusaha berpikir positif bahwa kita masih ada dan utuh tanpa kekurangan sesuatu apapun juga walaupun keberadaan kita tidak dianggap penting oleh orang yg kita anggap penting. Well, memang ada sebagian orang di dunia yang hanya ingat pada orang lain hanya pada saat mereka butuh. Di waktu kita tidak dibutuhkan, kehadiran kita tidak diperlukan. Semua perlakuan tersebut membuat kita merasa seolah-olah kita adalah one fucking loser. Actually, the real loser is not us...but them. Yeah fuck all those kind of people. What on earth they treated people as if people are some kind of disposable stuffs. We are human being. We have feeling. We have thoughts. And we don’t deserve to be treated that way.

Nothing could degrade our values of life. And nobody could upset us unless we allow them to do so.

Akhirnya.....

Minggu yang baru lewat ini banyak dilewati dengan banyak hal yg pada ujungnya membuat gue berkata ,”akhirnya....”

Kamis, 30 April 2009
Akhirnya gue berhasil dapet ijin dr kantor buat ambil ijasah gue yg uda lama bgt ga gue ambil. Kayaknya udah ga tau berapa kali gue minta ijin buat ambil tu ijasah Cuma ijin selalu gagal keluar. Intinya akhirnya gue berhasil dpt ijin ke kampus buat ambil ijasah tapi gue diharuskan segera kembali ke kantor begitu semua urusan yang menyangkut pengambilan ijasah tersebut uda kelar.

Akhirnya gue ke kampus lagi setelah hampir setengah tahun gue resmi ga lagi jadi warga Universitas Pelita Harapan. Dulu gue inget bgt betapa malesnya gue kuliah. Selalu aja ada alesan yg pengen gue buat begitu gue bangun tidur supaya gue ga usah kuliah di hari itu. Anyway...begitu gue nyampe ke kampus, gue parkir di tempat yg dulu jd tempat parkir langganan gue. Surprisingly, begitu gue turun dari mobil ada yang manggil.
“bos...bos...”
Spontan gue nengok....ternyata tukang parkir di parkiran kampus yg manggil. Gue sempet bingung kok dia bisa inget trus tiba2 manggil gue gitu.
Selanjutnya dia nanya, “ apa kabar nh? Lama ga keliatan...udah lulus yah?”
“iyah nh uda lulus hampir setengah taon lah...parkirannya udah diaspal nh skrg?”, jawab gue.
“iya ni parkiran diaspal gara2 ada buat acara racing bbrp bulan lalu. Sengaja diaspal biar bisa dibuka jadi track racing.”
“oooo gitu pantes berubah”

Akhirnya gue berjalan lagi di jalan yg sama yang selalu gue lalui selama kurang lebih 4 taon menuju gedung fakultas ekonomi. So far, yg ada di dalem kampus ga ada yg berubah. Tetep sama. Cuma aja skrg ada toko buku yg asli enak bgt di depan kampus. Tu toko buku uda sumpah nyaman bgt ditambah disediain byk bgt bangku dan sofa buat duduk sambil baca ato sekedar bengong aja nunggu jam kosong abis buat masuk ke kelas berikutnya. Damn! napa ga dari gue masi kuliah uda ada aj tu book store.

Proses pengambilan ijasah cepet bgt. Akhirnya gue bisa megang ijasah gue haha norak bgt kalo yg ini mah. Berhubung gue ngerasa rugi kalo langsung balik ke kantor...so, gue duduk aja dulu sambil santai di dalem toko buku yang yahud itu.

Jumat, 1 Mei 2009
Akhirnya nyampe juga gue di hari panel interview gue. Pas melek di hari jumat, hal pertama yg ada di kepala gue adalah gue pengen hari ini sgera berakhir. Secara uda weekend trus gue mesti masuk ke ruangan panel buat ditanya-tanya sama para panelis otomatis bikin gue jadi ngerasa punya beban di hari itu.

Akhirnya panel selesai. Thank God everything went pretty well I guess. Fiuh...... panelisnya sangat bersahabat, pertanyaannya juga ga yang killer banget, dan situasi panel juga ga terlalu tegang. Masi ada diselingi ama candaan dan ketawa-ketawa. Mmmm not as bad as I thought before. Thank God for everything and thank God it’s Friday.

Akhirnya....weekend lagi.....

Take it or Leave it

Dalam olahraga, ada yang namanya cooling down atau pendinginan. Tujuan dari pendinginan adalah untuk menjaga heart rate kita yang naik pesat saat kita berolah raga. Tidak aman kalau heart rate turun terlalu cepat dalam waktu yang mendadak...bisa berakibat serangan jantung. Sehingga butuh tahapan agar heart rate bisa turun perlahan-lahan.

Saat proses latihan fisik berlangsung, sebut saja misalnya lari atau bersepeda. Akan ada satu momen dimana energi kita uda pol bgt. Napas juga uda ampe megap-megap. Rasanya ud mesti stop atau sebentar lg kita bisa roboh. Kalau kita turutin kemauan kita buat stop justru saat itulah kita sedang membahayakan jantung kita. Detak jantung yang turun secara terjun bebas akan sangat membahayakan keselamatan kita. The worst scene scenario we could end up die. Sudden death.

Hal serupa juga bisa terjadi dalam kehidupan profesional kita. There would be a time where we have reached our fatigue point. We feel like giving up. Tapi saat kita berhenti akan ada banyak konsekuensi yang harus kita pikul. Yang paling jelas adalah kita bisa saja dapat cap buruk krn dianggap tidak profesional maupun dianggap tidak bertanguung jawab. Hal tersebut akibatnya adalah ke reputasi dan nama baik kita sendiri. Remember?! Good name worth more than gold...

The best thing to do is just move forward. Ga ada orang yg mo pulang dengan tangan kosong kalo baru separo jalan menuju tempat tujuan. Lagipula saat kita stop mendadak, biasanya rasa capenya ga langsung berasa.Tunggu bbrp menit kemudian baru berasa kalo napas dan badan kita ud ga lg seirama.

I guess segalanya akan jadi disfungsional saat tidak diselesaikan sebagaimana mestinya. Lalu pertanyaannya kapan kita boleh cooling down?
The answer is... as soon as possible after all the 'party' over

Nothing Lasts Forever

Uda kurang lebih seminggu Om Frans meninggal. Om Frans tetangga gue yg selalu gue liat seger dan sehat mendadak meninggal gara2 serangan jantung waktu jatuh di kamar mandi.

Om Frans seinget gue uda tinggal di komplek perumahan ini sebelom gue dateng sekeluarga menjadi penghuni. Yah bisa dibilang gue gede dengan ngeliat dia bertambah tua. Gue liat waktu anak-anaknya masi SMA lalu kuliah dan sekarang semua anak-anak uda menikah dan punya anak.

Yang gue tahu dia selalu keliatan bahagia. Pagi-pagi dia uda bangun dan duduk di teras depan rumahnya sama Tante Lis,istrinya. Ritual duduk-duduk di teras akan terulang lagi di sore hari dan itu terjadi setiap hari. Sampe gue mikir ni org idupnya enak bener, relax bgt...dan paling keliatan...dia kompak abis ama Tante Lis. Semuanya mereka lakukan berdua dari duduk-duduk ngobrol di teras ampe bersih-bersih halaman rumah mereka.

Beberapa hari sebelom Om Frans pergi, Tante Lis uda bolak-balik berkali-kali buat check up ke dokter krn sakit. Yg gue denger kalo ga salah ada masalah di lambungnya. Tapi siapa yg sangka justru yg ga sakit dan adem-adem aja justru yg duluan pergi.

Emang ga selamanya org bakal hidup terus. Akan ada waktunya masing-masing yg bakal ditempuh oleh setiap orang. Waktu yg misterius dan waktu yg cm diketahui oleh Tuhan. Emang betul jam terbang kita uda ada yg nentuin. Dan kita ga bisa ngelak dari 'kontrak jam terbang' yang kita punya meskipun kita ga pernah menandatangani surat kontrak apapun dengan perihal jam terbang.

Demikian juga dengan keseharian kita...ga selamanya kegitan kita sehari-hari akan kita lakukan dalam bentuk dan situasi yang sama. Tante Lis masi bisa tetep duduk-duduk di teras setiap pagi dan sore hari. Ritual yang sama yang uda dia jalanin selama bertahun-tahun. Hanya saja kali ini dia harus duduk sendirian...

Well, kalo ngomong masalah ending...akhir dr sebuah proses. Pertanyaan yg selalu muncul di kepala gue adalah 'apakah gue bakal nyesel dg smua yg uda pernah gue jalanin dlm proses 'jam terbang' gue? kan harusnya waktu itu gue begini bukannya begitu.' atau hadir sebuah pernyataan 'wah gue puas bgt gue uda ngelarin kontrak...uda maksimal bgt dan uda ga ad yg kelewat lg buat disesali'

Imperfection

So many things in life that don't go our way. Because of that people used to saying 'I wish ....'
‘Ooo, I wish it didn't happened’
‘I wish I were taller’
‘I wish I could be his boyfriend’
‘I wish I were superstar’
‘I wish I were famous’
And there would be so many more 'I wish' would come up…..
When I was younger I used to think…
'Why I am not as smart as him?'
'Why I don't drive a better car?'
‘Why I don't have a bigger house that equipped with swimming pool, gym, and jacuzzi?'
well, it's been a long time. in fact i'm still alive until now. I survived through all those imperfections that haunted. And now I’m thankful with what I have. Ihave nothing less although all I have is not flawless. I have family and friends that love me although sometimes they pissed me off. I have a job that suits my want and need. I have opportunity to do things I like. So what else should I be worry about? Girlfriend or life partner? Ah it can wait so just chill and lay back.
Culture and lifestyle that we're facing nowadays somehow caused us to get insecure about what we are and about what around us. In a modern world people tend to be judged by their having and not by their being. I remember how I used to imagine to live somebody else's life. At the end, through times I've learnt that people that I used to envy , found out that they don't live happily as much as I thought. Yes they are loaded but they are sick and shattered. Yes they are good looking but they are insecure about what people might say about them. Yes they are incredibly smart but nobody wants to be friend with them because thay are not easy to be friend with others.
All those facts hit me in a sudden awakening. Why should I be disappointed with what I am? I'm not perfect, I don't have a knock out figure, I don't have private jet coz my family can't afford it, I'm not dressed with designer's label ,I don't have fancy car, and I don't live in a luxurious mansion. But guess what? I'm still living and amazingly I could enjoy live with all those imperfections around. I'm not incredibly smart but I could have a job and I am enjoying it. I'm not physically perfect but I'm happy at least I'm not having any deadly disease. I'm not rich but I still can afford to do things I like.

So ,does perfection matter? It depends... it depends on how you feel and see things through different point of view. First impression does matter… I agree on that point. But first impression can’t talk too much about yourself. Remember Susan Boyle?

Broken

If life is a book that filled with a lot of stories either good or bad, I guess there must be several pages that we would like to tear out. If it's happened to me I think there would be like hundreds of pages that got to be ripped off. I had made several bad decisions in the past. Some of it has taught me lessons that make me grow stronger but some of it just left me with regret.
Yes, I did make mistakes. At some point in my life, I tried so hard to be a better person. Move on and patch things up.

Another pages that I would love to tear out is the bad experiences chapter. Some moment in life that caused pain and traumatic memories.

But suddenly I realized it was such a coward moves trying to forget all those bad stuffs by escaping from reality.

Although still I don't understand why did all those stuffs could happened to me but believe it or not those bad experinces have made me who I am today. If now I'm a tough guy, it's beause all the lessons that I've been gone through. If now I'm a bastard that's because my decision,wrong decision anyway,to deal with those pains in a wrong way.

As a human it's so normal to keep on trying to be in a better position or in a better place. But somehow things don't always go our way. We messed up.. we screwed up and at the end we're trying to patch things up.

The best attitude to deal with all these things is just face our fear bravely. Realized how fragile we are. By realizing how fragile and vulnerable we are , we could remind ourselves that we have nothing to be proud of. Why we got to be proud on our fragility?

We all are broken in certain ways....and only us that know how to treat our wound and pain within

after office hour

masi belom bisa tidur akhirnya gue memutuskan buat post satu entri lagi. abis pulang kantor tadi gue makan malem di sushi naga...akirnya rekor juga gue makan di ni resto 3x dlm bulan april.

Sushi Naga adanya d ruko meruya deket kebon jeruk. yah gue jadi kayak marketing sushi naga begini. menurut gue sh perlu dicoba soalnya harganya agak miring dibanding resto sushi ternama yg ada di mal2 terkemuka di ibukota (uda mulai pake bahasa rekomendasi ala harian kompas). enak deh terutama buat penggemar sushi, gue sarankan cobain. cara paling gampang buat kesono kalo ga tau jalan...silahkan ikuti mikrolet m11 arah tanah abang- meruya

Solitude

being alone doesn't mean lonely. being alone is more like an expression of independence and personal freedom. you are free to do what you like, you are free to enjoy your me-time and you are free to decide to kill those times.

In some perspective, solitude seen as a form of weirdness. Most people find it weird. How could you spend all your time alone at the cinema?
How could you do a trip for vacation... alone?

Well, I guess in this modern life, we are like moving and running in fast forward mode. and we're not doing it alone. We're doing it in a big group of people. society? community? organization? ensemble? you name it.

Somehow to drag ourselves out of the crowd is like a therapeutic movement. You could breathe deeper by looking how spacious around. The best part is you could deal with yourself privately.

The best feeling in my opinion is peace. I could describe it as a feeling of relief, freedom, light, and bright but at the same time it's soothing.
There's nothing wrong by doing your leisure time alone. It's not selfish. You've been dealing with a lot of people most of the time. It doesn't mean you don't love you beloved around. It's just a time to remind ourselves that we need to love and indulge ourselves in the right way.

My best package of solitude :
1. grab a trip to Bali...alone (don't forget to bring a few great books and nice playlist in your ipod)
2. stay in a nice hotel
3. sleep tight and wake up when you feel like you want to
4. eat
5. go to the beach, jog on the white sand beach, sunbathe, and swim in the sea

Next, sit on the beach and watch the ocean surface waves till dawn. don't forget to watch the beautiful sunset. Enjoy the melody of the waves when it hits the shore.

After that...get up and clean, grab a dinner. then fill up the jacuzzi in your hotel room with warm water...relax and unwind...listen to your playlist.

Go to sleep, wake up, pack your stuff, go buy something for your family and friends...soon catch the flight back home

I think i'm going to do this......as soon as possible......

Happy ending

Hari ini kantor santai bgt, nyaris ga ad kerjaan sama sekali. Wow jarang2 bgt bisa ketemu situasi kayak gini. So , yg gue lakukan adalah menikmati aj kalo kata senior gue ,”mumpung masi bisa santai n pulang cepet kudu dimanfaatkan sebelom ntar pengen pulang tp yg ada ga memungkinkan buat pulang.”

Dalam keadaaan santai dan tenang kayak gini gue jadi banyak berpikir. Yah gitu lah gue emang orang yg banyak pikiran. Kalo pake bahasa kerennya gue banyak inspirasi dan imajinatif hahaha ah kentut lah….

Akhir2 ini emang gue byk bgt pikiran hahah kerjaan lg ga terlalu nyiksa sh cm yah ada aj lah ini dan itu yg bikin kepala ga perna kosong. Gue cukup terhibur ama kehadiran temen SMA gue yg ud dlm 3 hr ini slalu berangkat bareng gue k kantor. Bahkan bukan hanya cukup terhibur melainkan gue sangat terhibur hahaha seneng aj akhirnya bisa punya waktu lg ama temen lama di sela2 kerjaan. Yup dr temen SMA trus sekarang kita sekantor.

Honestly, I have huge respect terhadap temen gue satu ini. Dia sgt dewasa dan menurut gue bijaksana dalam menyikapi berbagai situasi dan keadaan. Kalo ampe skrg gue masi bisa bersahabat baik ama dia , gue yakin salah satunya adalah krn kedewasaan dan kebijakan dia dalam menerima segala kekurangan dan kesalahan yg perna gue buat ama dia. Gue akui gue pernah berbuat kesalahan yg sangat memungkinkan buat sahabat gue ini buat benci dan ga lagi mau menganggap gue temen. At that time , I felt so guilty and desperately hoped that she could forgive me. Gue sempet takut bgt ketemu ato ngomong ama dia di waktu gue salah tersebut. Yeah I was one fucking coward. yup begitulah dari temen jadi demen. So cliché ,isn’t it?

At the end, I really liked her more than friend. Now who doesn’t like her anyway? She’s smart, bright, fun, loveable, easy going and wise. Dia juga ud pernah tau kalo gue dulu sempet suka ama dia. Tapi ga ngerti kenapa…abis dia tau, gue takut bgt kehilangan dia. Yup yup yup I’m one fucking weirdo. Gue takut kl perasaan gue yg lebih dr temen itu bakal terminate friendship gue dan dia. Oooo man, I’ve been keeping this issue and guilt for months. Ada faktor insecure juga dr gue. Gue takut ga bisa masuk ke kehidupan dia krn gue takut akan kenangan dia dan mantannya. I knew that she and her ex had been through tough times together and I was afraid that I couldn’t help her out of those memories. Sesudah kejadian itu, gue takut bgt kalo hubungan gue dan dia ga bisa balik baik lg seperti semula. And it’s kinda killing to imagine that we would be in some kind of cold war.

Akhirnya seminggu stelah gue bilang kalo gue lebih memilih berteman…gue memberanikan diri sms dia buat ngajak pergi krn kebetulan temen2 SMA kt lg ada rencana mo ngumpul. Surprisingly, dia menyambut ajakan gue dg positif. Meskipun tetep ada rasa takut…tp akhirnya gue jemput dia pas di hari yg ud dijadikan kesepakatan.

Singkat cerita, ampe skrg kita tetep bersahabat. Well, thank God for that. One thing for sure, I respect her even more. She shows positive attitude and behaviour in our relationship as friend or even at those not-so-good-times back then.

Few months ago, she told me that she’s officially in a relationship with her co-worker. The first thing that came to mind was…oo thank God she found someone better than me. And it’s true, he is a nice guy. Obviously, he is lucky and I’m happy for them. The best part of all this is I don’t lose her as my best friend and I learned so much from her about forgiving and letting go.

Larut

(seharusnya ini gue post kemaren tp krn ad masalah connection maka baru bisa post skrg)

Sekarang masi siang n masi hari selasa pula…damn…duduk d depan laptop milik kantor tempat gue kerja tanpa tau mo bikin ap. Sebetulnya gue ud ga ad kerjaan d minggu ini.bole ga gue ga masuk aj istirahat ampe jumat??trus senen depan gue masuk lg ??saya berjanji jika saya diberi istirahat ampe jumat, senin saya akan masuk dengan senyum paling lebar dan semangat paling membara. Ah katro deh gue

Buat menyamarkan keadaan gue yg bisa di bilang ‘pengangguran berkantor’ ini…gue baca2 blog punya org. seru bgt ada bbrp cerita yg bikin gue ketawa n ada jg yg bikin gue mikir …ternyata smua org ngadepin yg namanya kejenuhan n kejemuan. That’s what I’m dealing with right here right now…

Let’s take a few moment of thinking…..

Mengapa di saat kita bangun pagi, kita bangun dgn mata belekan n muka bantal sambil mikir : ‘duh males bgt nh gue’

Nyaris jarang bahkan hamir ga pernah gue denger org bangun pagi yg kayak d pelem2…bangun langung dengan muka cerah trus nyengir kuda sambil buka jendela dlm sekejab mukanya langsung penuh dengan pantlan sinar matahari…diiringi bisikan ‘selamat pagi dunia’

Tadi pagi gue berangkat kerja ber4. banyak manfaat juga berangkat kerja rame2 pertama bisa mengalihkan rasa males n berat stlh bangung tidur selain itu bs nembus jalur 3in1. org pertama yg gue jemput namanya Sheilla Meriska hahaha maap bu,nama lu ga gue sensor.[cek visit-sheilla.blogspot.com] anyway Sheilla adalah partner in crime gue dr jaman SMA. Dulu waktu SMA dia duduk d belakang gue (betul ga yah??lupa2 inget nh) pokoknya dulu dia ga sebawel n ga segila sekarang. Gue rasa pengaruh dunia kerja ud menggeser jati dirinya yg sesungguhnya.

Pertanyaan gue pertama saat dia masuk mobil,” lu bawa laptop ga?”…kmrn dia lupa bawa laptop padahal gue ud berkendara kira2 1 km menjauh dr rumahnya. Trus dia jawab,”laptopnya gue tinggal d kantor.” Oooo trus g tanya lg ,”lu ngerasa males ga sh tiap bangun pagi mo k kantor?” trus jawabannnya,” gue sh selalu males.” Hahaha

Gue langsung mikir emang bener tuh adegan pagi di pelem2 cuma boongan. Dalam situasi dimana naluri menaklukkan gue kalo lg gede..cih najis dah naluri menaklukkan , emang kata gue singa…yup lanjut kalo naluri menaklukkan gue lg gede , gue ngerasa bisa melakukan apa aja.

Bangun pagi? Hajar!!!!!

lembur? mo berapa jem, ampe nginep juga gue jabanin

olahraga? Dalam keadaaan ‘gila’ dulu gue sering gym 3 jem non stop ampe pas pulang badan gue kayak mo meledak ujung2nya terbiasa jg sh ga berasa mo meledak lg

tapi napa sekarang gue uda ga kayak gitu lg??? there must be something wrong going on in there….

how could I get back to my passion and spirit way back then? People said ,”go take a break and have a vacation.”

I had a vacation last weekend but it didn’t work. All that came to mind after that vacation over was why the long weekend had to end up so fucking fast???!!! I still need more

O God please help me to get back on track. Yang gue tau, gue punya tujuan, mimpi, cita-cita, dan orang2 yg gue sayang yg selalu berdiri dgn tatapan optimis karena mereka percaya sama gue…o God help me not to disappoint them

I just hope I could fight n knock myself out…the biggest enemy is still myself and my own head

Amelia Lestari

hohoho I know you're smilling . I made your name as my entry. Amelia Lestari is one of my very best friend hahaha she's a girl with hot smokin' body and she's almost my height. I'm 173 cm by the way,not exactly,it's more or less
Si ame ini anaknya banyak bgt topik kl ngmg ama ni anak rasanya smua isi perut bisa keluar. topik kita biasanya ga jauh2 dr sobat kita yg ud sukses n mendadak jadi sombong bgt ato cewe kepo yg sering bikin gue pusing. but shit ni anak slalu menganggap hal yg terakhir itu sbg bahan joke buat ngeresein gue.
anyway ada satu ability dr ni anak yg ampe skrg sedang sangat ingin gue pelajari.. well i guess everybody has been through not so nice experiences right?! ni anak bisa melupakan smua kejadian ga enak dlm hidupnya ampe dia bs yakin kalo ditanya bahwa dia ga perna mengalami kejadian tersebut. what a freak!!!but unfortunately apa yg dia lupa,selalu gue inget so gue selalu ingetin dia tentang kejadian2 seru yg dia alami. bukan seru sh tepatnya aib...

long weekend

the highly anticipated long weekend has come to an end....damn it's the nelly furtado's song-why do all good things come to an end. i wrote that line as a status on my facebook. yeah right i'm one of the facebook whore hahaha what else could connect u except by facebooking?!my status quickly commented by Ferry Wirasaputra,one of my friend, he is way older than i am so i assume he's much wiser then me haha he said that bad thing also come to an end .well i could not agree more. I spend my long weekend by going to anyer with my cell group friends. yeah i'm a member of a cell group but i'm obviously not the holy kinda guy. I'm not a freakin' saint haha anyway the best part about anyer is the beach. I'm a big beach lover. It feels so relax when I heard the ocean surface waves..damn feels like all my burdens and problems swept away just like that. we have like a group trip . 17 people were going..it was fun actually except the sleeping part hahaha sorry guys i have to admit that the sleeping part was killing. yeah u know 17 people slept under the same roof

kerja

to work-working-worked-work out-late work-hardwork
well it' s all about doing something,isn't it? how much do you love what you're doing?
the same question also should be thrown to myself...do i really love what i'm doing?
mmm let's see ... i work in a public accounting firm that requires a lot of working hours...fiuh....anyway i still enjoy it ,really..it's just sometimes i feel like i'm having an intercourse with this job...
why do people work?to get money, to be rich or just for self actualization? damn somehow i caught in a thought...God's curse for Adam has been too strong even nowadays it's not just men that have to work hard but also women....anyway tomorrow is monday. i'm not a fan of monday i guess i am a monday hatred

there's always the first time

ternyata gue lumayan gaptek....pertama kali nge-blog yg ada gue ud mulai pusing buat beradaptasi ama situasi di blog ini.
well finally i own a blog...at first time i don' t think i'm into blogging but at the end i decide to create a blog because sometimes i have a lot of thoughts that i don't think it's appropriate to ask someone to hear all my thoughts...
so, this blog will be a media for me to spill all the dirts